Elusive Hearts

I’ve been staring my notes for hours, without having any progression. Yes, that’s right. I haven’t been productive much since the moment I woke up this morning. I even woke up late. Straight away took a bath. Sat in front of my study desk and stared at these papers. I’m so losing my motivation. Half of my heart tells me that I MUST study but the other half keeps saying NO to whatever I’m trying to read.

I was supposed to sit for my exam on last Thursday but the module committee decided to postpone it till Monday since some of the lecturers still have not given their exam questions. Is that supposed to be a bad news? *shrugs* It’s not that I’m completely prepared for the exam. Oh what the heck. I always feel the same way even though I’ve already prepared. I guess this is what you call being insecure. Anyhow, the longer I have to wait for the day, the lazier I would feel.

Oh craps. All I wanna do right now is having some nap. Oh wait, I already did that. Seriously, I don’t feel like doing anything right now. Help!

Haha.. Relax. I’m not going insane or whatever. I was merely fooling around besides testing out my photoshop skills.

I was looking for one of my classmates but he wasn’t in the class so I asked everyone around. I was rather surprised when one of my classmates replied to my question in such a way that I’ve never expected.

Me: Have you seen “A”?
Her: No. How should I know? I’m not like his wife or something. *with sarcastic tone*
Me: Err.. okay. I was just asking randomly. *Then, I walked away..*

Okaayyy.. I wasn’t really expecting that from her. I’m sorry if she felt like I was disturbing her with such simple question. She wasn’t even looking at me properly while answering. No, I’m not mad. I’m just..a bit disappointed.
Oh well. Maybe I shouldn’t ask such question in the first place. :secret: Or maybe, it just wasn’t a right time to ask her since she was busy doing something. Maybe..maybe.. *forcing myself to think positively*

P.s. The Renal & Body Fluids Module started on last Monday and the first week itself is already packed! :yuck:

I had been very busy and still am. Exams are just around the corner but yet, I still have a lot to catch up. Man, this is so damn frustrating. Urgh. :bawl: Lately, I have no mood to study and the reason why I had been busy all this while was.. well, I really don’t know actually. My mind is so messed up. Been pondering on things that I shouldn’t have done back then. I was stupid. Fullstop.

So yeah. I’m outta here for a while. I just need some rest. This has got to be the most depressing module ever.

P.s. Sorry for not returning comments. Later, ok?

I’ve been very lazy busy for the past few days. Shall I say both lazy and busy then? (Hey! It rhymes! :hehe: ) Lab reports, PBL reports, Lab, PBL, PBL, PBL!!! Urgh! I had enough of those shits! PBL just drives me mad. I’ve been coping with it for the past few months and I feel so sick whenever I have to attend PBL discussion.

Oh, sorry. I guess you guys don’t know what the hell is PBL. PBL is some kind of method of torture for all medical students throughout the whole wide world. :bored2:

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Dammit. I can’t study tonight. My mind was lingering on something that bothers me for the past few days. And somehow, I feel so sad.. And jealous too.. It’s a mixed feeling. Urghh.. Why am I feeling this way? I don’t have any problem. Could it probably be a mental sickness? No, I’m very much sane indeed. My heart tells me that I’m sad and my eyes tell me to cry. Dammit. I really don’t know the reason behind this. Okay, maybe I do know but I don’t feel like sharing it here. I don’t wanna cry. I can easily cry and currently I’m trying to refrain myself from crying. People around me have always been reminding me not to cry over ridiculous matters. They tell me not to take things seriously (I guess they meant too seriously) but to me, every single thing does matter to me. My emotion is easily disturbed and once that happens, it takes a very long time for recovery. :yuck:

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